140 chapter 7: Sexuality
Harmful beliefs
about disabled
women’s sexuality
They have no
right!
Some harmful beliefs about the sexuality
of women with disabilities are described
below. Many women with disabilities say
these negative attitudes and beliefs disable
them from enjoying close, loving, sexual
relationships. Sometimes these wrong
attitudes prevent women from finding
faithful spouses and partners who respect
and value them.
But why not? We have
the same human feelings,
and the same needs for
love, sex, and family as
anybody else!
Harmful belief: Disabled women’s bodies are shameful
In most communities, women are valued by a standard of physical attractiveness.
If a woman looks very different from that standard, people may not think she is
‘worthy’ to be married or to be a sexual partner.
Gita tells us about “perfect” marriage partners
In India, the problem is that we look for perfect people
with perfect bodies. So much importance is given to
physical appearance that there’s no place for a person
who is ‘imperfect.’ Just take a look at the matrimonial
advertisements today—all the men want women who
are slim, beautiful, fair-skinned, educated, of good
breeding, etcetera. There is also a belief that if a boy
marries into a family where one of the family members
has a disability, his children will be born with that
disability. It happened to me, so I know. There is a very
strong gender aspect to this. It is the women who are
expected to be perfect in every way. On the other hand,
the groom could be disabled, ugly, epileptic, alcoholic,
and he’s still the perfect groom!
A Health Handbook for Women with Disabilities 2007