134 social skills
Often a child continues a problem behavior because he has learned that
it will get him what he wants. For example:
Kwame has been left
to play by himself. He
tries to get his mother to
come play with him.
Ma!
When she does not, Kwame
starts yelling. His mother
comes to see what’s wrong.
Waaa!
Aaah!
Kwame!
Stop
that!
Now Kwame has
her full attention.
What is it, Kwame?
Shhh. Mama is here
now.
Refusing attention when
Kwame is being nice...
and giving it only when
he begins to yell...
encourages
bad behavior.
But if you give your child attention when he behaves well and refuse it
when he behaves badly, you can teach him that acting badly does not
get him what he wants. For example, Kwame’s mother learned that:
Giving attention when
Kwame is being nice...
but refusing it
when he yells...
encourages good
behavior.
Are you
helping
Mama
cook?
Waaa!
Aaah!
What
a good
boy.
Helping Children Who Are Deaf (2004)