preventing child sexual abuse 177
If you suspect abuse
Try to stay calm. Encourage your child to show you what has happened
or what she knows.
To get more information, set up play situations with your child. Pay
careful attention to what he shows you because he may not have
enough words or signs to explain himself clearly. With your voice and
your expressions, make sure your child knows you believe him and will
not punish him.
If your child has been sexually abused
If your child has been sexually abused, you can help if you:
• believe what she shows or communicates with you. It may be difficult
to believe that someone you know and trust has done this to your
child, but children rarely make up stories about sexual abuse. Some
abusers are very friendly to parents. That way they gain better
access to the children and it keeps the parents from
reporting the abuse.
• praise her for telling you. Children need to
know that they have done the right thing by
communicating about the abuse.
• reassure her that the abuse is not her fault
and that you are not angry with her. Use as
many different ways of communicating this as
possible.
• protect your child’s safety. Try to prevent future
contact between the child and the abuser. If this is
not possible, make sure you or someone who knows
what happened is always with your child when the abuser is present.
• treat physical health problems from the abuse. Try to get your child
tested for sexually transmitted infections, even if she does not have
any signs. Some sexually transmitted infections do not have any
signs, or the signs do not show until a child is older.
As a parent, you also need help. Parents feel many emotions including
disbelief, anger, and sadness when they learn their child has been
abused. Parents may blame themselves or each other for what happened
to their child. It can help to talk about these feelings with someone you
trust. Be patient with yourself. It may take a long time for these feelings
to change.
There is no shame to the family if a child has been abused. Abuse is a
crime — like theft — and was not caused by the family.
Helping Children Who Are Deaf (2004)