192 Sexual Health
I don’t
want to put
her at risk,
but I’m not
sure how to
tell her what
happened...
Talking about safer sex
If you think your partner might support your wish to have
safer sex, try to talk together about the health risks
of STIs. This is not always easy! Most women are
I think
we should be
using condoms,
but I’m afraid
taught that it is not ‘proper’ to talk about sex—
especially with their partners or other men—so
they lack practice. A man may talk with other
of what he will men about sex, but is often uncomfor table
think if I ask. talking with his par tner. Here are some
suggestions:
Focus on safety. When you talk about safer sex, your partner
may say that you do not trust him. But the issue is safety, not
trust. Since a person may have an STI without knowing it, or
may get HIV from something other than sex, it is difficult for a
person to be sure he or she is not infected. Safer sex is a good
idea for every couple, even if both partners have sex only with
each other.
Practice talking with a friend first. Ask a friend to pretend to
be your partner and then practice what you want to say. Try to
think of the different things he might say and practice for each
possibility. Remember that he will probably feel nervous about
talking too, so try to put him at ease.
➤ Work with your
community to educate
women and men
about condoms and
how to use them.
This will help make
condoms more
acceptable.
Do not wait until you are about to have sex to talk about it.
Choose a time when you are feeling good about each other. If
you have stopped having sex because you have a new baby, or
were being treated for an STI, try to talk before you have sex
again. If you and your partner live far apart or must travel often,
talk ahead of time about how to protect your sexual health.
Learn as much as you can about the risks of unsafe sex, and
about how to have safer sex. If your partner does not know
much about STIs, how they are spread, and the long-term
health effects from them, he may not understand the real risks
involved in unsafe sex.
Information can help
convince him of the
My brother
told me he
always uses
need to practice
safer sex.
condoms
now.
Use other people as
examples. Sometimes
learning that others are
practicing safer sex can
help influence your
partner to do so, too.
Where Women Have No Doctor 2012