LEARNING AND BEHAVIOR
By repeatedly observing what happened before Raúl began to throw food, his mother
started to find some answers:
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• “Raúl throws food most often when I leave him alone with it—especially when I am
busy with the other children.”
• “My own messages to Raúl are confusing and contradictory. At the same time that I
scold him, I also give him the attention and care that he wants—like feeding him as if he
were still a baby.
• By throwing food, Raúl gets a lot of satisfaction.
POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR RAUL’S FOOD THROWING
TRIGGERS
• Raúl is being
ignored. He is
left out while his
mother is busy
with the other
children.
• He may be afraid
that if he feeds
himself, he will
be left out even
more. He is very
dependent on his
mother’s care and
attention.
WHAT HE LOSES
BY THROWING
FOOD
• His mother
gets angry,
slaps, and
scolds him.
WHAT HE GETS
• He gets the whole family’s attention.
• His mother quickly leaves the other
children and goes to him.
• If he cries when she slaps or scolds him,
she quickly comforts him and cares for
him like a baby.
• And then he gets to play with his toys.
• By being fed like a baby, he calms
his fears of growing up and losing his
mother’s care and attention.
Step 3. Set a goal for improvement of the child’s behavior.
If the child has several different behavioral problems, it is usually best to try to improve
one at a time. Be positive. Try to set the goal in terms of the good behavior that you
want, not just the bad behavior that you wish to end. For Raúl, the goal might be ‘to learn
to feed himself quietly’ (not simply ‘to get him to stop throwing his food’).
Be sure that goals are possible for the child at his developmental level. (See p. 354.)
Step 4. Plan a way to help the child improve his behavior.
Consistently reward ‘good behavior’. Each time the child behaves as you want,
immediately show your appreciation. Rewards can be words of praise, a hug, a special
privilege (perhaps the chance to play with a favorite toy). Or give the child a bit of favorite
food. However, food rewards should mostly be used only for very thin children or if nothing
else works. Avoid giving food as rewards to fat children (see p. 340).
As much as possible, ignore rather than punish ‘bad’ behavior. Rewarding ‘good’
behavior rather than punishing ‘bad’ behavior brings improvement with much less bad
feeling for both parent and child.
disabled village children