Love, Sex, and
Social Adjustment
52CHAPTER
491
In the village of Ajoya, the home of Project PROJIMO, disabled young men and women
happily go to dances and outdoor movies together. They are not ashamed to let people
know that they have a close or loving relationship. Some of the disabled young persons
who have grown to know and care for each other through the Project have married and
now have children.
All this is fairly much accepted as natural and normal and ‘right’ by most of the local
villagers.
But things were not always
this way. A few years ago, when
PROJIMO had just begun, many
people believed that a severely or
even moderately disabled person
should not and could not have a
loving relationship, get married, or
have children.
I remember one evening in the
spring, a few years ago. An old
woman watched a group of young
couples listening to guitar players
at the village square. One young
man, who had a clubbed foot and
used a cane, stood close to a young
woman in a wheelchair. When the
musicians started playing a romantic
song, the disabled couple gently
put their arms around each other.
The old woman was shocked.
Angrily she pointed to the pair and
cried, “Isn’t that disgusting! People
like that have no right to behave
like that! It’s not natural! They’re
cripples!”
Disabled persons and their families must
educate the public about their rights.
When PROJIMO first began, unfortunately the villagers were not the only ones
who thought that disabled persons should and could not get married or have loving
relationships. Many disabled young people half-believed it themselves, and in their
personal lives were often depressed, frustrated, or confused. While society told them
one thing, their hearts and their bodies told them another. Most believed they could
never be attractive to another person in a sexual way. Yet through adolescence, they felt
increasingly attracted. Many had serious doubts about their own sexual ability. Some had
discovered that they did, in fact, have fully developed feelings and functions. But they had
no acceptable way to express them.