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Setting reasonable goals—based on the child’s developmental level
Be realistic when setting a goal for improvement in behavior, or a new skill that you want
your child to learn. First try to determine the child’s developmental level, and set a goal
consistent with that level. (To determine the child’s developmental level, see Chapter 34,
“Child Development and Developmental Delay.”)
Consider Erica, the girl on p. 349 who has tantrums (crying and screaming fits) whenever
her mother puts her down. Erica is mentally slow, which means she is developmentally
behind for her age. Depending on her developmental level (not her age), her mother can plan
steps to help her avoid tantrums:
Suppose Erica is at the development
level of a very young child. She has
poor hand control and no ability to
play by herself, or to imitate (to copy)
others. She will need to begin with
very basic steps and clear, simple
messages. Her mother can put her
down briefly, then praise, talk, or sing
to her as long as she does not have
a tantrum. When she does have a
tantrum, her mother should try to give
her as little attention as possible, and
never give in to her demands. She can
pay attention and reward her during
those moments when she stops
screaming—if only to catch her breath.
This way Erica will begin to learn that
she gets more of what she wants
through good behavior than through
tantrums.
Now suppose that Erica is at a more
advanced level of development. She
likes using her hands and imitating
her mother. Steps for improving her
behavior can start from this level.
Perhaps her mother can have Erica sit
at the river’s edge and pretend to help
her mother wash clothes. This way
Erica will feel closer to her mother and
will be less afraid of being left alone.
Her mother can talk to her and praise
her all the time.
Disabled village Children
Note: At this level, Erica will not be able
to stay with one activity for very long.
To avoid tantrums, her mother will need
to keep the activities interesting by
changing them often, and talking to her
a lot. In all of this, other children can be
a big help.